Last week (and a bit of the week before), I spent with the folks, who live on a farm outside Sparta, a small town north of Grand Rapids. Daughter #1 came along for the ride, too.
The folks are doing surprisingly well, considering they were going to radiation every day, and chemo twice a week.
I saw Dad's brain scans. Not good. The bone is pretty much gone over his left eye, letting the tissue bulge out and push on his optical nerve. It's the cause of his seeing double...and why he couldn't get his left eye open. Radiation is helping, in that the eyelid (sort of) works now. But he's still seeing double.
The bone over the right eye has large chunks missing. The rest of his skull bone is still there, but considerably thinned.
Obviously, there is no way to replace this bone.
I'm grateful, nonetheless, that the cancer is not actually IN his brain -- just consuming the bone outside it. Dad's mind remains sharp.
He can walk some, with a cane -- but pride gets in his way. He refuses to use a walker or wheelchair. (Says his arms and legs just don't feel that strong.)
He said, just before we left, "You could stay here for a month -- then go home for a week -- then stay for another month." Husband would hate this...he'd be out of underwear, living on soup and frozen pizza and lonely... but my dad asks for so little. We live several states away. How can I take care of biz, be with Dave -- and still help my dad?
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2 comments:
Take it from a woman who's done her share of traveling and leaving a husband at home to fend for himself -- he will figure out a way to survive without you. Even if it means buying more underwear (that's what my DH did).
If there's any way you can get away -- perhaps not for a whole month at a time but even just two or three weeks? You should do it.
Your customers will understand. Besides, you'll have internet access, right?
It's the right thing to do. And you don't want to look back on this time and think, he only asked me for a couple of weeks. Why couldn't I give him a couple of weeks?
Elizabeth, I've been debating and debating this...the time after the holidays is especially concerning, when Dad will have an inevitable letdown. I know you're right -- I've got people to cover the time away, as far as the business goes -- but it's tough to do.
Dad has asked me for so little over the years. I want to be with him. But the other responsibilities...that's the hard part.
Thanks SO much for writing. I really appreciate your input.
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