Friday, August 21, 2015

Pearls (er, Pieces) of Wisdom from Aunty Acid

Have you met her?

 Aunty Acid is a tart-tongued older lady who doesn't take s--- from anyone. Her offkey wisdom has been a delight and amusement lately, especially considering the days I've had. Here are some items to get you started -- try NOT to laugh!

Remember: What happens tonight goes on Facebook tomorrow.

People who say 'Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels,' have obviously never had bacon.

Unfortunately, my daydreams about being skinny are often cut short by the sounds of me chewing a cookie. 

'Be Yourself' is about the worst piece of advice you could give some people.

Be nice to nurses. They keep doctors from killing you.

I'm up. If you're expecting bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, go catch a freakin' squirrel. 
    (This one's for friends Jo and Chris, who enjoy a crack-of-dawn cup of coffee.
                  And dragging bleary-eyed me along with them.)

Some days, it is just not worth putting on a bra.  (Didn't say she wasn't rude! In keeping with that:)

Friends are like boobs. You've got big ones, small ones, real ones and fake ones.
     (I have some friends who are boobs.)

I've forgotten some of the men in my life...but I remember all the cats. 

My husband thinks I am crazy -- but he's the one who married me. 

And for the Brick: 

And my favorite:

Sometimes you have to burn a few bridges to keep the Crazies from following. 

I especially love her comments on friendship:

 If you have crazy friends, then you have everything. 

A real friend is someone who knows how totally crazy you are,
    but is still willing to be seen out with you in public.

We'll be friends 'til we're old and senile...
   and then we'll be new friends all over again.

There's plenty more here to laugh (and groan) at.

Tell it like it is, Aunty!

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