When Someone You Love Is in the Hospital

Things from Home That Help:
   *a clean set of clothes for wearing home (also acts as a mental reminder that they WILL go home)
   *their own pillow (enormously comforting -- and more comfortable, too)
   *a favorite snack for both of you (most of the hospital fare was at best edible. Husband craved, among other things, a Coke.)
   *slippers and/or comfortable socks
   *laptop computer, if you've got one -- you'll also need charger cords for it, as well as cellphones
   *something trashy for you to read while you're waiting  (a friend gave me the most recent issue of People, but I also found comfort in silly romances and 'haunted stuff' books.)


Don't Plan On:
   *understanding what's going on, especially at first. Just think what your loved one is feeling -- they're really out of it! You MUST listen carefully, for their sakes. Ask lots of questions until you do understand.
   *getting much work done while you're waiting. (See next comment)
   *getting much sleep while you're there. Everybody and their brother will come in to poke your loved one, take blood, check on them, etc. Your bed won't be very comfortable, to begin with. Plan on waking up every time the door opens. (Now you know why you won't be getting much work done -- you'll be dozing a lot more!)
    *having much done quickly. You'll have to wait for tests, doctor visits and even simple things like IV changes, Get used to the idea, as distasteful as it seems. (Husband's IV would 'beep' when it was finished -- and that beeping would keep on until the nurse stopped by. As long as 30 min. later.) 


Do Plan On:
    *Being your loved one's chief defender. You're the one who will have to listen to doctors' comments, answer questions when your person is out of it, insist on clarity.
   *Their Primary Go-pher. If their ice runs out, the IV starts beeping (previous comment), or they're trying to get a shower (and need their IV detached)...guess who's going to be the one who either does it -- or goes to find the nurse? Yep, you.
   *Their Head Newsperson, Cheerleader and Reassurer. You'll be the primary one people call for information. But you'll also be your loved person's main conduit to The World Outside. Tell them about everyday life -- pass on the news. Tease and fuss over them.
      Remind them that this is temporary, that they'll be home soon. And you'll still love them just as much as ever. No matter what.