A Creative Way to Express Yourself

Feeling picked on by others?

Does your vocabulary need a jumpstart?

Never fear -- you can take advantage of the:

SHAKESPEARE INSULT KIT

3 columns of words from Shakespeare's plays and sonnets -- pick one from each, then combine for your own rude retort. Wasn't that easy?

 My trial run came up with "Thou dankish beef-witted cankerblossom!" But I'm sure you can do better than that. Tease your friends -- stun your enemies!  (And be sure to use it on your bratty little brother...even if he's 60.)

     See what a good education will get you?

 Combine one word from each of the three columns below, 
  prefaced with "Thou":

        Column 1            Column 2                Column 3

        artless             base-court              apple-john
        bawdy               bat-fowling             baggage
        beslubbering        beef-witted             barnacle
        bootless            beetle-headed           bladder
        churlish            boil-brained            boar-pig
        cockered            clapper-clawed          bugbear
        clouted             clay-brained            bum-bailey
        craven              common-kissing          canker-blossom
        currish             crook-pated             clack-dish
        dankish             dismal-dreaming         clotpole
        dissembling         dizzy-eyed              coxcomb
        droning             doghearted              codpiece
        errant              dread-bolted            death-token
        fawning             earth-vexing            dewberry
        fobbing             elf-skinned             flap-dragon
        froward             fat-kidneyed            flax-wench
        frothy              fen-sucked              flirt-gill
        gleeking            flap-mouthed            foot-licker
        goatish             fly-bitten              fustilarian
        gorbellied          folly-fallen            giglet
        impertinent         fool-born               gudgeon
        infectious          full-gorged             haggard
        jarring             guts-griping            harpy
        loggerheaded        half-faced              hedge-pig
        lumpish             hasty-witted            horn-beast
        mammering           hedge-born              hugger-mugger
        mangled             hell-hated              joithead
        mewling             idle-headed             lewdster
        paunchy             ill-breeding            lout
        pribbling           ill-nurtured            maggot-pie
        puking              knotty-pated            malt-worm
        puny                milk-livered            mammet
        qualling            motley-minded           measle
        rank                onion-eyed              minnow
        reeky               plume-plucked           miscreant
        roguish             pottle-deep             moldwarp
        ruttish             pox-marked              mumble-news
        saucy               reeling-ripe            nut-hook
        spleeny             rough-hewn              pigeon-egg
        spongy              rude-growing            pignut
        surly               rump-fed                puttock
        tottering           shard-borne             pumpion
        unmuzzled           sheep-biting            ratsbane
        vain                spur-galled             scut
        venomed             swag-bellied            skainsmate
        villainous          tardy-gaited            strumpet
        warped              tickle-brained          varlot
        wayward             toad-spotted            vassal
        weedy               unchin-snouted          whey-face
        yeasty              weather-bitten          wagtail

(Or go here and see another version, plus links to more 'Shakespeare abuse.')

Learn more about him...not that there's much to learn. 

Shakespeare's funeral monument...with probably the best real-life portrait of him out there. 
Courtesy of Wikipedia.

Getting Ready For Colds & Flu

Now that the weather is wavering back and forth between steaming-hot-oh-won't-this-end and brr-I-need-a-sweater-fast, I know what's coming:

The annual bout of flu. 

Mine tends to be accompanied by an earache. Life is interesting, when everything is spinning. Hot water run into the ears during a shower helps. So does a dose of sweet oil, warmed and poured in, then plugged with cotton for a bit. But it's still an issue. (Ironically, the Brick's is always with chest congestion -- his ears are fine.)

I know what to do about the flu, though:

*Hot bath

*Vicks or another menthol rub, applied gently to the chest

*Warm clothes & slippers (and preferably the softest quilt or blanket in the house)

*a good book: I'm planning on reading through Dickens this fall, especially Our Mutual Friend and David Copperfield. (Maybe The Mystery of Edwin Drood, too, if I can get in the mood. Such a downer book...and weird, too.)  
         OR

*The company of Richard Sharpe (the sexy thing)

And this, perfect for congestion or a sore throat:

HOT TODDY

Add to your mug:  
1/3 cup whiskey or bourbon (Jim Beam, if you've got it)
3-4 tablespoons lemon juice
2 tablespoons honey

Now fill it with boiling water. Sip. Think cleansing thoughts. 

It's good for just before bedtime, too, if you're restless. A soporific, I believe it's called.

Diary of a Stay At Home Mom recommends another get-well remedy: sliced lemon or lime, plus a few slices of ginger, in a small jar, then filled with honey. The full treatment is here -- she says it's an old Oriental recipe.

When I was working at the office, I'd go out for Chinese food -- the spicier, the better. Those hot peppers are jumping with Vitamin C, and they go right to work. Green chile's great, for the same reason. (Add a handful of cilantro for extra oomph.) Rajas are a sauteed onion and chile mixture for tacos, or alongside a steak. Hey, some people make a plaster out of onions -- this way, you could have your chile, and eat it too!

Monday Stuff On the Way to Other Stuff: It's Good to Be Home

I spent pretty much all week last week either appraising, or driving. First up was the Peaks & Pines Quilt Guild in Granby, CO. (Hi, dears!) Then it was on to the Cheyenne Heritage Quilter's annual show, where I appraised for three days. (Hey there, Bea and company...)
    I enjoyed both, but appraising, especially that much, really guts it out of you. Got home late Saturday night; I slept in today, made cinnamon rolls, watched the Broncos (who lost - but not by much) read the paper and picked beans. Even cleaned the chicken coop out, without too much griping!
    So while I'm picking up the reins again, here are things I found for you via the Internet:

How to blow through $100,000...before you're even 21.  (I Heart Budget did this, poor guy.)

The downfall of Zeek Rewards.  Hopefully you've had no contact with this MLM scheme. Unfortunately, several cousins did -- and they paid for it, too. Yet another struggle with "If it sounds too good to be true...it is."

Phyllis Diller died, at age 95. It's hard to believe that this feisty girl with the mod clothes is gone...

Phyllis arrives for one of Bob Hope's overseas entertainment shows at Korat Air Base, Thailand. From Wikipedia.

6 cheap tips to help perk up your kitchen, from Money Beagle. (Who knew ice cubes could do so much good?)

Neil Armstrong also died, aged 82. Armstrong was an incredibly classy man, a quiet person who didn't boast about his accomplishments.
   
Although he had been a Navy fighter pilot, a test pilot for NASA's forerunner and an astronaut, Armstrong never allowed himself to be caught up in the celebrity and glamour of the space program.
"I am, and ever will be, a white socks, pocket protector, nerdy engineer," he said in February 2000 in one of his rare public appearances. "And I take a substantial amount of pride in the accomplishments of my profession."

    (I said something to the Brick, also an engineer type, about a colleague dying...and read him Armstrong's quote. 'Sounds just like you,' I said. He was shocked: "But I don't wear white socks all the time!")

And finally:

Zombie debt and the Supreme Court, from Liz Weston. I dare you to read this, and not think about the AMC series, The Walking Dead.

and now, since it's past 2 a.m., I'll go to bed... oh, one more thing. Lynaeve, you've won our latest book giveaway! We'll start the next one up in a day or so. 

Have a great week.

Keeping Going - Timewise, Snackwise

Joe at Retireby40 is going through late-night munchies cravings.

He's trying to stay up late to get his blogging chores done. (Little Joe is not exactly reasonable about letting his dad work during the day....the words "crazy little monkey" apply.)

On the other hand, Big Joe's been scarfing down junk food to stay awake -- and it's not doing his triglycerides level any good.
    What can he do to get through the "perils of midnight blogging?"

I can relate.

This problem occurs at home -- but it's worse when I'm on the road. There's lots of stuff to do on the computer, but I've already put in a full day (often more than full) teaching, appraising, judging...or all three.
   This trip, it's appraising -- lots of it. I get done about 5 p.m. (wow, early) -- but by the time I have supper with my hostess and spend time with her, it's already 8 or 9 p.m.

The solution so far has been to take a short nap -- then have something to drink, or a light snack to wake up. Fruit (especially peaches or grapes), or a plate of cucumbers.
   Or the leftover sandwich from lunch. I've got a handful of protein bars stashed away in the laptop bag, as well. They do the trick -- I can stay awake long enough to get the necessary work done.

Hot tea kept me going (and nearly ruined my laptop) before I left...I'll go back to that when I get home. Plus popcorn or a handful of pretzel chips. (Charley the dog likes those too and will keep me company, hoping for a handout.)

Joe's friends recommend carrot sticks, popcorn, Jell-o pudding snacks and sugar free jello, among other things. Plus cookies and good old milk.

Or another option -- give up, go to bed and get up early, instead.
Which is what I'm going to do tonight. Last night's sleep was longer than usual, but I helped out with the Wild Wild West guys nearly all night. (Too much watching those tv reruns before I left.)
     Hopefully James West and Artemus Gordon can fight their own villains again.

One more day of appraising -- then I'm on the road home to the Brick, a footrub and a nice soft bed.

Appraising, We Will Go...

I'm working at the Cheyenne Heritage Quilters' annual show this week. If you're in the vicinity of the 1st Methodist Church in Cheyenne (not far from the Capital building), come on down! They've got vendors, demos...and of course, row after row after ROW of beautiful quilts.

You'll enjoy it.

George Washington - and Politics - In Cloth

What is it about George Washington cotton artifacts? They're surfacing on Ebay like crazy right now. (One guess: they've skyrocketed in value the past few years, and their owners are looking to cash in.)

At $3500, this pair (early 1800s) is actually a very good buy:

Go here to find out more, and bid.

This mourning piece is a real winner, too, but you'll pay more for this one -- almost a cool $10,000! (Okay, you'll save ten bucks on that.)

Go here for more, and to bid. 

This one, "The Tears of America," is even more -- almost $15,000. Both are mourning handkerchiefs, by the way -- a popular way to show your grief at the loss of your country's leader. Mourning ribbons and pins were also popular, and show up more often. This is changing, though...our last president to die, Jerry Ford, had only a mourning pin, as near as I can tell.

Go here for more, and to bid. 

And fabric yardage, c.1783, of George being crowned with a laurel wreath:

 Go here for more, and to bid.

These textiles are so very rare that it's a pleasure to have photos to view them up close. If you're wondering, "Gee, did the other presidents also have handkerchiefs and such to honor them?" Yes, yes, they did! Even President Obama has a number of cotton fabric prints. This one's my favorite:

(It's here, if you'd like to take a closer look, and buy a piece.)

Textiles like these are literally pieces of our history, captured in cloth for future generations to admire and ponder. Have you thought about adding a political or social-event fabric to your next project?

George & Martha Washington Portraits Resurface

...and they're beautiful.

One of only five Washington portraits to be done 'porthole' style. (Martha's the quilter, remember?)

They've been donated to the Columbus Museum, where these photos came from. They were found still in shipping crates from a NY gallery!

    Find out more in the full report here.