A Creative Way to Express Yourself

Feeling picked on by others?

Does your vocabulary need a jumpstart?

Never fear -- you can take advantage of the:

SHAKESPEARE INSULT KIT

3 columns of words from Shakespeare's plays and sonnets -- pick one from each, then combine for your own rude retort. Wasn't that easy?

 My trial run came up with "Thou dankish beef-witted cankerblossom!" But I'm sure you can do better than that. Tease your friends -- stun your enemies!  (And be sure to use it on your bratty little brother...even if he's 60.)

     See what a good education will get you?

 Combine one word from each of the three columns below, 
  prefaced with "Thou":

        Column 1            Column 2                Column 3

        artless             base-court              apple-john
        bawdy               bat-fowling             baggage
        beslubbering        beef-witted             barnacle
        bootless            beetle-headed           bladder
        churlish            boil-brained            boar-pig
        cockered            clapper-clawed          bugbear
        clouted             clay-brained            bum-bailey
        craven              common-kissing          canker-blossom
        currish             crook-pated             clack-dish
        dankish             dismal-dreaming         clotpole
        dissembling         dizzy-eyed              coxcomb
        droning             doghearted              codpiece
        errant              dread-bolted            death-token
        fawning             earth-vexing            dewberry
        fobbing             elf-skinned             flap-dragon
        froward             fat-kidneyed            flax-wench
        frothy              fen-sucked              flirt-gill
        gleeking            flap-mouthed            foot-licker
        goatish             fly-bitten              fustilarian
        gorbellied          folly-fallen            giglet
        impertinent         fool-born               gudgeon
        infectious          full-gorged             haggard
        jarring             guts-griping            harpy
        loggerheaded        half-faced              hedge-pig
        lumpish             hasty-witted            horn-beast
        mammering           hedge-born              hugger-mugger
        mangled             hell-hated              joithead
        mewling             idle-headed             lewdster
        paunchy             ill-breeding            lout
        pribbling           ill-nurtured            maggot-pie
        puking              knotty-pated            malt-worm
        puny                milk-livered            mammet
        qualling            motley-minded           measle
        rank                onion-eyed              minnow
        reeky               plume-plucked           miscreant
        roguish             pottle-deep             moldwarp
        ruttish             pox-marked              mumble-news
        saucy               reeling-ripe            nut-hook
        spleeny             rough-hewn              pigeon-egg
        spongy              rude-growing            pignut
        surly               rump-fed                puttock
        tottering           shard-borne             pumpion
        unmuzzled           sheep-biting            ratsbane
        vain                spur-galled             scut
        venomed             swag-bellied            skainsmate
        villainous          tardy-gaited            strumpet
        warped              tickle-brained          varlot
        wayward             toad-spotted            vassal
        weedy               unchin-snouted          whey-face
        yeasty              weather-bitten          wagtail

(Or go here and see another version, plus links to more 'Shakespeare abuse.')

Learn more about him...not that there's much to learn. 

Shakespeare's funeral monument...with probably the best real-life portrait of him out there. 
Courtesy of Wikipedia.