Saturday, May 20, 2017

Things I Don't Understand

Gentle Readers, here are a whole raft of Random Puzzles in the Universe that should be cleared up. The world would be better for it.

Okay, I can figure this one thanks to friend Thommy

Why is sour cream okay -- but sour milk isn't?  (My dad, a farmer's boy from South Dakota, refused to eat sour cream or cottage cheese, on the grounds that they were "spoiled milk.")

What exactly are "heebie-jeebies," anyways?

Why does Pinterest think I want to see all the newest bra commercials, along with chocolate wedding cakes, funny dog pictures and quilt stuff? Well, maybe I can understand the latter...

Why do friends tend to show up when you've got the least time to deal with them?

If something's "out of whack" when it's messed up, does that mean that it's "in whack" when it's running properly?

Why do Coloradoans gauge everything direction-wise by the mountains? (Confession: I do it, too.)

Why does it have to start snowing on the day I plan to put in flowers?  Colorado is famous for this in April and May. June even. The past few days, we got more than a foot of the white stuff. Which brings up another question:

Charley in the snow May 18...these are actually bent-over trees

How come we have these huge storms in the West...then within a day or so, the snow is gone? Even stranger:

Sir Charles in the 'snow,' the morning of May 20...
Even that will melt by nightfall.

Why do some of our biggest snowstorms happen on nights a Broncos game is televised?

Why are some of the best writers the worst when acting as human beings?  Hemingway and Arthur Miller come directly to mind...especially Miller's treatment of his handicapped son. 

Double this for famous professionals.  Like Steven Jobs, a man few people can say nice things about. Even Warren Buffett, one of my 'buddies,' as the Brick would say, was not exactly kind to his first wife.
     Extra points for celebrities who have short-lived affairs, then deny paternity...until they're forced to admit it, and support the kid. (Eddie Murphy and any number of sports stars, stand up, front and center.) How do you think that child is going to view you, as they grow up?

Why, Famous People Who Act Badly, would you think that you wouldn't be held accountable for your actions? 

How come no one's gotten a clear, realistic photo of Bigfoot yet?  Or video, for that matter. And I don't want to hear any smartypants comments about him/her not existing...

Aren't journalists supposed to be gathering the news in an unbiased manner, presenting it...and letting us decide? I am sick and tired of all the insults, implied and otherwise, on both sides of a story, whether it be politics, climate science, religion... or whatever. The name-calling gets old, too. Whatever happened to showing respect for the office -- or position?

Whose side -- really -- is former FBI director James Comey on? He seems to have infuriated both the Trump/Republican and Clinton/Democratic camps. (Actually, making them both mad might speak to his truthfulness; I read once that a good compromise makes both sides unhappy.)
     I'm not the only one looking forward to his upcoming testimony.

Why do people say "thick as a Brick" in a negative way -- when it's supposed to be a good thing?

How come it's okay for rich people to do odd things ("eccentric" is almost a compliment)...and if poor people wear unusual clothes or walk down the street yelling, they're typed as violent -- or mentally ill?

Now double that question for celebrities: Lady GaGa, in particular. Speaking of:

Why didn't all the celebrities who threatened to move to Canada if Trump was elected...actually do it?

And...if they're so rich, and spending money on everything from jewelry to security... why can't all of these people consistently give at least 10% of their income to good causes? 
      While I'm at it, on celebrities (and others):

Why are women's butts so important right now?  I'm almost ready to stop reading TMZ and the Daily Mail's celebrity section, for all the prominently featured backsides -- not to mention thongs. Next question:
      Why would you be proud of showing anything this way? And what would it qualify you for, except bad taste and trashy behavior?

And finally:

Why would the media believe we care about the Kardashians' opinions on anything? (The Jenners run a close second.)

     Except their butts, apparently.

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