Ummm...

       Invading Aliens:  "EARTHLINGS, WE HAVE KILLED YOUR LEADERS, DESTROYED YOUR ECONOMY, AND ARE HERE TO TAKE OVER YOUR GOVERNMENT."

       Humans:  "Oh, thank God."

       Aliens:  "WAIT -- WHAT??"

How to Get What You Want

     What do you need right now?

     A new car, a working refrigerator...or a vacation?


     Perhaps it's about the people you live and work with. Are you arguing with a neighbor right now...trying to get your teenager to help out more with the chores...begging a favor of a good friend...or asking for time off from your job?

     That's where negotiation comes in -- the art of getting what you want. And in the most successful deals, your fellow negotiator also comes out of the process with something they want.

     "The modern American dream is having what you want, right now," says, Roger Dawson, author of You Can Get Anything You Want (But You Have to Do More Than Ask). "Learning how to negotiate is very difficult...and they suffer for their inexperience every time they buy a house, or a car, or even a suit at the clothing store down the block."
     Mr. Dawson is British, by the way, and not too big on Americans' skills at anything. But that's his job -- to teach the gentle art of negotiation. And he's had decades of experience at it, especially with impatient Statesiders.

WHERE TO BEGIN

     Recognize that getting what you want is going to take both patience and time. First,
    Find out what the other side wants.

Dawson calls this clarifying the objectives. What does the other person want to get out of this -- a raise in allowance, taking over a special project, a full hotel?

     Next, gather information. Why do they want it?
Is the seller just clearing out extra stuff -- or desperately gathering money because the rent is overdue? Obviously, he'll be more interested in making a quick sale for the latter -- but he also may need more than the minimum amount you're willing to spend. Knowing for sure helps you tailor your approach.

     Finally, the process concludes with an agreement, "where compromises are made and a mutually satisfactory conclusion is reached." Rushing to that decision, though, usually means that one (or both) parties feel they got the worst of the deal.
     If you're running a business, you definitely don't want customers feeling that way....because they won't come back. (And they certainly won't tell their friends nice things about your company, either.) If you feel like the cheated one, you likely won't be very happy, either.

MAKING THE BEST OF IT

    You can get the best deal -- if you're open to working for it. Patiently, carefully...and above all, ethically. First, deal with any shyness and fear you have about all this. You can't speak effectively if you're fighting your own worst instincts about all this. Be willing to ask for what you want.
     Then it's time to get going: "Always be reluctant," Dawson says. "Remember, you are not being forced to buy or sell...you want the other negotiator to know that."  One of the worst mistakes he made, while purchasing the house of his dreams, was the tour his wife and daughter made of the property without him alone. Once the buyer caught their enthusiasm, his price didn't budge. (Dawson estimates he paid about $30,000 more because of that tour. Ouch.)

OTHER HELPFUL TIPS

*Have a mental price range, including the absolute minimum and maximum, before you start negotiating.  Do not reveal this range to the other person.

*Talk about other subjects first. Or don't talk at all. The Brick is very good at this. My father, a master at getting the absolute best price, would take the farmer's approach: he'd talk about the weather. Or crops. Or he'd kick the dirt around with his toe. And he'd wait. Because:

*The person who makes the first offer 'loses.'  This is very, very important. What if you make an initial offer that you think is ridiculously low (or high)...and they accept? You'll be kicking yourself for not starting at a better place, before discussions really begin.
     If the other person sets the price, instead, they've given you an idea of the margin they want to work in. It may be far lower than you'd hoped. Even if it isn't, now it's time for you to:

*Practice 'flinching:' acting surprised at the first offer made, "no matter how good it looks." If you want to sound like the Nice Guy, blame it on your family or staff instead: "Gee, I'm not sure my wife/husband/partner would go along with that price." Then stall a bit. You might have to discuss this with your board (i.e., you) first. Or the family. It may be a little while before you can respond.  (It's the same tactic a car salesman uses when he says, "Well, I'll have to talk to my manager about that." Dawson calls it the Higher Authority. Whether the 'boss' actually exists is irrelevant.)

*Be nice when you counter-offer. In other words: be agreeable, and you'll be agreed with more often. No one ever got exactly what they wanted by being obnoxious. (Though plenty of people have tried.) It won't hurt you to be different.

*Throw in a 'nibble' at the last moment.  Have you almost settled on a price? Add something extra -- an item or service that won't cost much: a free oil change for the car you just bought, or asking your son to trim the hedges, as well as mow the lawn. Make it easy for your fellow negotiator to throw it in. They'll feel generous doing it, and you'll get extra value. 
     Case in point: our daughter loves a certain semiprecious stone, larimar. While on vacation in St. Maarten, we found a table at the local merchant's fair that featured only this rare blue crystal. The jewelry was beautiful, and raw slabs of stone (Daughter's favorite) were available, too. But the vendor announced up-front that prices were not negotiable. I 'agreed' with her, until we'd picked through the slabs, and chose a necklace we wanted, as well. After all, her prices were reasonable. But just on a whim, I said at the very end, "Will you throw in an extra piece?" She looked hard at me -- then laughed. "Sure," she said, "but pick out the smallest slab." (I didn't. She was okay with that, too.)


     "Whatever the person you're negotiating with says to you as he begins his proposal, don't argue with it," Dawson says. "Agree with him instead...[otherwise] the other negotiator feels honor bound to prove his point." Use what Dawson calls the "Feel/Felt/Found" principle:
      *'I understand how you feel.' (Even if you don't agree.)
      *'Other people have felt this way.'
      *'I think, however, I've found a solution that will work.'

"Not only will the effort pay off many times over," Dawson urges, "but the person is much more likely to return to your negotiating table again and again."


      And that, in business and personal terms, is exactly what you want.

He Was Right.

 

Retiring to Panama

      You're looking for somewhere warm to retire -- but you don't have much money. Instead of Florida or Mexico, consider another spot, instead -- Panama.

     We thought about this as we spent two weeks driving around this lovely country some years ago, staying at hotels, B&Bs, and even a beachside resort. What we discovered surprised us: both good and bad.
     Panama, officially known as The Republic of Panama ("Pa-na-MAH"), is the southernmost country in Central America. Back in the 19th century, it was better known as a swampland of yellow fever, until William Gorgas, with the help of Carlos Finlay and Walter Reed, discovered its cause: mosquitoes. Their treatment helped workers survive the construction of the Panama Canal, from 1904-1914. This architectural wonder returned to Panamanian control in 1999, after the U.S. controlled it for many decades.
    The Canal really is wonderful, especially when the ships pass through on a rainy day, wreathed over by fog and blowing their horns a little mournfully. And if you view it from the visitor center at the Miraflores Locks, you'll be able to not only see the current locks, which are huge -- but the newest set of locks under construction -- which are gigantic. (Take the top floor observation deck, and plan on a meal stop at the restaurant, if you want a more relaxed view.)
     The worst part about visiting the Canal -- and the rest of Panama, incidentally -- is that inevitably you must travel through Panama City. This jam-packed metropolis is big, dirty and lively. Slums mix with skyscrapers, flashy signs and the worst drivers on the face of the earth. With care and a whole lot of nail-biting, you'll survive...but it won't be fun.
     Maybe you should take the bus, instead. Either that or a rental car, and only a few days of steady travel will take you the length of the country. (Watch out for the street cops in Divisa -- they can and will try to stop you and claim you were making a U-turn, if you were turning left. That means big ticket penalties in this quirky country!)

 Once you're away from the noise and hustle of Panama City, you'll find a whole lot of rural farmland, with plenty of cattle. Take note of the posts in the fences along these ranches -- they've often grown into trees!
     That's how fertile this country is. Sure, it's tropical, but it has a minimum of humidity, compared to other Latin American countries; and a reasonable amount of rain. (The mountain chain that forms the backbone of Panama, especially the coffee area of Boquete, enjoys more of this liquid sunshine, along with cooler temperatures.)
     Stay in the valley, and you can drive the length of Panama, along with occasional busses and regular semis. (Make sure you, like everyone else on the road, swerve occasionally to dodge the potholes, which could swallow up small animals. Thanks to no train system, Panama relies on 18-wheelers and other trucks to keep things moving.) 
     Just an hour's drive uphill, and you're in the mountains. Turn the other direction off the main Pan-American Highway, and within an hour, you'll be sitting on the beach and watching the fishermen. That's how varied the climates are.
     The people are friendly (well, except for the police in Divisa),  and the seafood is downright wonderful. Stick with the fresh fish and shrimp, especially if it's grilled...you can't go wrong. But don't expect a 'tortilla' when it's offered: you'll get a coarse-ground cornmeal cake that resembles polenta or grits. We were told English was spoken throughout the country, but that wasn't true. We relied a lot on our misshapen Spanish, plus pointing and smiling.
     Should you retire to Panama? Not if you enjoy the fast life, or want your world to be 'American.' (One possible exception would be living in Boquete, which has many ex-pats.) 
     But there are many positives to be considered, if you enjoy a slowed-down, rural life. Land prices are low, and it's possible to grow many of your own vegetables and fruits. Practically everyone has a cellphone, and it's surprisingly easy to get internet access. The coffee is wonderful, too...
     Panama prides itself on being one of the most price-friendly countries for American retirees. The country's Special Tourism Zones offer exemptions from income and real estate taxes, and retirees can take advantage of everything from discounts on restaurants to lenient rules on leaving and entering the country. 
    Several websites can give you a better idea of what it's like to live in Panama, including this one. Beware, though: many want to sell you jazzed-up real estate for big bucks. You're better off consulting a Panamanian realtor who speaks English, and has worked with Americans before. (There are many.) And definitely plan to spend at least a week or two in the country before you make any big decisions. You might just find yourself falling in love with this peaceful, relaxing place. 
Stop by here for more.

 Panama Canal and surrounds, courtesy of Wikipedia

Five Lessons Learned from PENNY APPLES

 One of the most interesting men lives on my bookshelf!

William Cullen is an Irishman, first and foremost, then businessman, car aficionado, reality tv star, hotelkeeper and writer, not necessarily in that order. Bill's 2002 memoir of growing up in Dublin, It's a Long Way from Penny Apples, gained bestseller status in Europe, though it's lesser-known in the U.S.. Cullen grew up working at his mother's and grandmother's stands. He only went to school through age 13, then began working at an auto dealership. Eventually, he became manager. After years of working with other dealers in the region, he purchased Renault from the Waterford Crystal group -- for only 1 euro. But that price also came with a crippling 18-million euro debt. (The euro, by the way, is about an American dollar -- more or less.)
     After some difficult years, his Renault business, now known as the Glencullen Group, improved, and Cullen began expanding into other areas. He was heavily involved in raising money for various charitable causes, but never forgot his humble roots.

A sequel, Golden Apples: Six Simple Steps to Success (for which he won a Guinness World's Record for signing 1849 copies in 10 1/2 hours), gives some of Cullen's favorite maxims, including:
     Sleep less.    (He argues for 4-5 hours a night.)
     Eat healthy.   (The Cullens' diet of mostly vegetables and fruit, augmented by a little fish, rarely other meat, was poverty-based, but kept the family well, Bill says.)
     Exercise every day.  (Walking, strength training, etc.)
     Maintain a positive --and professional --attitude.  ('If your customer doesn't have a smile, give him one of yours,' Bill's grandmother was fond of saying.)

1.  Being poor is nothing to be ashamed of. Cullen's father, Billy (or "The Da") spent years in the military, and was one of the street wardens during WWII. Billy was strong, had a reputation for honesty and was a 'Pioneer,' or teetotaller. However, he had difficulty finding steady work that paid well, forcing Bill's mother, Mary Darcy ("The Ma"), and her mother, Molly, to help out by selling fruits, vegetables and occasional fish on street markets.

2.  Being slovenly, lazy and drunk is. Both Billy's and Mary's families drank; some were alcoholics. The Cullens lived in slum tenements for years, with smelly hallways and molding walls. It took at least a decade before they were able to move to better housing, and longer than that before Mary and Billy could afford their own house. Nonetheless, Mary scrubbed and cleaned regularly, and the family washed every day. (Contrast this with the alcoholic squalor Frank McCourt talks about in his Liverpool memoir, Angela's Ashes.)

3.  Families do best when they work together. Bill (known as 'Liam' when younger) was the fifth of fourteen children. Not only did he help his mother and grandmother sell fruit at their stands, but he acted as a messenger to buy and restock inventory, as well as expand into other areas. He also started several new businesses to make a pound or two, including buying clearance dolls and revamping them to look like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, or Marilyn Monroe. (They sold like crazy.)
     While Molly was working, her daughters cooked supper and watched the younger children -- or helped out at the stands, as well. Billy would also help out when needed. And everyone took an active part during the Christmas season, when Molly and Mary added more stands to sell gifts and Christmas decorations to customers near the bus stations.

4.  Diversify and innovate. Take rugby matches. While Liam enjoyed and played rugby himself, local matches were far too important a moneymaking opportunity to waste attending. Instead, Liam bought and sold tickets (when he could get them); programs; paper flowers in team colors (with photos of the major players pasted on top, courtesy of yesterday's newspapers -- yes, he sold those, too); apples and other fruit. He found a wall that overlooked the stadium, bought a ladder and sold places on top until the attendant confiscated it. (He figured the cost of the ladder into the 'admissions' he charged -- or how much he had to pay the attendant to look the other way.)
      Cullen also sold empty wooden fruit boxes to bystanders for a look at the game -- when they got excited during key moments and broke the box, he sold them another box -- then salvaged the broken bits and marketed them later as kindling. Each of his sales didn't amount to much. But together, they brought in serious money.

5.  Nothing stays the same. Cullen was said to have made millions when Renault took over his interest in the Glencullen Group in 2007. He also hosted four seasons of the European version of The Apprentice. He had other awards and honors given to him, including Irish Motor Industry Person of the Year (2000). He was also awarded a doctorate.
     Much of that has changed.
     The Apprentice was cancelled in 2012. (Reportedly, it cost too much to produce.) That same year, And his darling, his motor-trade business, went into receivership. (Cullen, of course, lost control of his Renault connections when his interest was purchased by Renault.)
      Bits and pieces of his auto-trade business were auctioned off to try to recover some of the debts incurred. Cullen blames his auto dealerships' woes on Ireland's poor economy.  (It says a lot that Cullen was one of the biggest creditors. Needless to say, he and the others didn't recover much.) And the hotel he unveiled with such fanfare is losing money - big-time. In fact, he's being sued left and right for unpaid loans, and had to auction off the contents of his home to stay afloat. (His health's not good, either.)
     Cullen is still heavily involved with philanthropic efforts. He's also reportedly sinking his money (plenty is still left) into Irish athletics and politics. It will be interesting to see where this multi-faceted man ends up next. But his lessons still stay true. 

Napoleon Lives Again - In Cloth

 Here's a beauty! 

A textile (linen) memorial to Napoleon's defeat in Europe in December 1812.

According to the Ebay seller, it was produced in 1812 or 1813 in Great Britain. (And yes, it's large. These memorial pieces usually are.)

More info:

Yellow cotton handkerchief plate-printed in red, and depicting the state of Europe in December 1812 with captions and commentary in both English and German, and scenes from recent political history.

In the centre is a stage on trestles, on which Napoleon is being attached on the left by figures representing Sweden and Russia, and on the right by Prussia. Behind Prussia kneels crowned Jerome and on the right is a group of four crowned figures representing Austria and the Confederation of the Rhine. On the front of the stage is a label inscribed 'Stage of Europe Decr 1812 / Europäische Schaubühne in December 1812'. Many figures in front and behind the stage.

Around are eight scenes of Napoleon's misdeeds. Starting from the bottom left corner:

Napoleon depriving the Pope of his territorial possessions; Napoleon receiving Josephine, the cast off mistress of Barras; Napoleon in Egypt; Bonaparte ordering his soldiers to fire upon the Turkish prisoners at Jaffa; Bonaparte betraying his officers and deserting his troops in Egypt; Bonaparte after a mock trial ordering the Duke of Enghien to be shot; Napoleon destroying the patriots; Napoleon and Godoy defrauding Ferdinand VII.

At the four corners are portraits of Schill, Cristophe, Herman Friese and Hoffer.

At the top of the centre panel is a cartouche with the figures of Europe, Victory and History and a verse in German.

Here's the odd part. Wikipedia says there was no huge victory for European countries until Oct. 1813 and the Battle of Leipzig. (Napoleon was banished to Elba in 1814. After an escape and more fighting, he is banished again -- and dies in 1821.) Maybe this piece was propaganda, encouraging the armies to keep on fighting? 

It's a remarkable handkerchief...sadly, with a remarkable price: $5500. But the seller will consider a 'Best Offer.' If you're a fan of His Excellency, this might be a good investment.

.Go here for more.

Monday Stuff On the Way to Other Stuff: No Way It's June Already!

 But it is...

We have a workable truck now, thanks to the Brick and Son #1, who stopped by to help out. They finished installing the brakes late Friday night. Then Son #1 and Daughter #2 had their own vehicle crisis -- a blown head gasket! Somehow they made it back to DIA in Denver for a week's vacation. 

    Their dog Freya and our dog Ruby are learning to live together, which is nice. I have, however, lost a sandal to Freya's chewing tendencies. Apparently it didn't agree with her, so she waited until we got home to throw it up. All over the rug by the front door. 

     What am I supposed to do with just one sandal, I wonder...

Maybe they need dog school...

Meanwhile:

An incredible find of coins in Poland.

 Zero-waste ideas that are extremely clever. 

Big cats must in Cumbria, after all -- 'panthera' DNA was found on a dead sheep!

Want to go magnet-fishing? This couple did... and found a safe with $100,000 inside.

 Some incredible Vatican treasures --  including the Emperor Nero's bathtub. (Don't ask.)

The 'virgin' stingray... isn't.    (In fact, she's not even pregnant) 

"What have you learned from working with successful people?" Quorans hold forth.

Another possible "Pretendian" -- this time at the Met.

Some surprising additions to museum collections. 

Prehistoric canoes -- found at Lake Mendota in Wisconsin.

Speaking of boats... the real story behind The Boys in the Boat. We just saw this movie -- amazing.

A long-lost Caravaggio painting makes a reappearance. 

Best values in used cars under $10,000.  

Sad backstories on famous songs. 

A mammoth tusk -- found underwater at Venice Beach, FL.

Remember the plot to auction Graceland? It was all a scam.

Have a good week.

Times two...