Home Security, the Bubba Way

Need a good security system, but are short on cash? Try this one:


HOW TO INSTALL A SECURITY SYSTEM

1.  Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14-16 men's work boots.

2.  Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine.

3.  Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines. 

4.  Leave a note on your door that reads:

     Bubba,

Me and Marcel, Donnie Ray and Jimmy Earl went for more ammo and beer.  Be back in an hour.  Don't mess with the pit bulls. They got the mailman this morning and messed him up bad.
      I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside. Be right back.

Cooter

Huh??

(passed on from friend Bert. See if you can get through it without laughing!)

    

Duck Hunters, Beware...

 

 (both from Facebook)


...I'm speechless.

S'Mores... or Shot Glasses. Your Choice!

Yes, you really can do both -- with marshmallows. 



Here's the process.

Toast the marshmallow.

 If it's a s'more, your next step is easy -- mash it between two graham crackers and a slab of chocolate (preferably dark), and eat quickly. (Michelle Obama recommends sliced strawberries and vanilla yogurt on graham crackers, and calls them Strawberry S'mores. Okay with me...but they're not s'mores. Sorry, Mrs. P.) 

If you need a shot glass instead, carefully hollow out the marshmallow. (Eat the gloppy stuff inside, or anoint a graham cracker with it.) Let cool a bit, then fill with your favorite beverage -- and not just alcoholic, either. Chocolate syrup, milkshake...your imagination is the limit. (I personally see Kahlua in these little guys.)

It works. Really. Go here for more.  Or watch this, courtesy of The Watering Mouth:

Yum.

Moral of the Story: DON'T Take Your Dog Everywhere

Here's a weird one.

Extreme athlete Dean Potter died this month when his 'squirrel' wingsuit apparently didn't operate properly. He and a companion were killed, BASE jumping off Yosemite, in an area they'd done before. (His body-mounted video camera apparently caught details...but it's being analyzed by the police right now.)

What makes that strange, as well as weird, is that Potter had become even more famous recently -- and not because he'd improved his technique. Instead, he was taking his dog on his back during jumps.

Fortunately, the dog wasn't with him on the fatal plunge.

Monday (er, Tuesday) Stuff on the Way to Other Stuff: Where Did May Go?

Yow, last week went fast.

We spent all of it in Michigan, for my uncle's funeral. Not only were we able to spend time with The Mama and my brother and sister-in-law, but we saw a ton of cousins and their kids, plus plenty of people I knew growing up. And for a quick bonus: an old boyfriend. (I still wonder what he thought about meeting the chubby, wrinkles-around-the-eyes gray-haired version of me!) 
    The Brick came with this time, which was a pleasure. He had a wonderful time shooting guns off with cousin Phil and a crowd. I helped The Mama put out Memorial Day flags at the local cemetary; our family has helped with this ever since I can remember, though The Mama had a lot of trouble physically walking between the graves. 
     It was unnerving, though, to hear the shooting at the nearby range -- blam, blam, BLAM -- while we were doing it.
    We drove 18 hours both ways...got home early Saturday morning, and crashed. Sunday, we left for a few days in the mountains -- and a stop at Hot Sulfur Springs. 

Yes, it really looks like this

Although it was just a tad freaky to be standing at the hotel window Sunday night, watching the snow pelt down. (We drove through a snowstorm to get there, as well.) 
     At least you can use the hot springs whatever weather you're having. Fortunately for us, the sun was shining (and alternating with rain now and then.) We brought home an unexpected souvenir: sunburn. 
     The Brick is dealing with his own case of sunburn -- plus, his kidney stones are back. Poor guy. We have lots to do to catch back up, including piano lessons, thank you notes and some business paperwork. At least it's not snowing here anymore...just up in the mountains. I'm glad for that -- I need to plant the garden, too.

Meanwhile:

Easier-than-usual cinnamon rolls, courtesy of Betty Crocker.

A charity quilt spotlight. (the Modern Quilt Guild)

The dirty little secret of living in small spaces. I know this one well -- both our girlies practice it regularly. (From Apartment Therapy)

Ten tips for first-time home buyers. (From The Simple Dollar) You'll enjoy their "Sometimes" post, too.

The $25 Shopping Cart feature from Poor Girl Eats Well. I love reading about this amazing blogger's battle to keep both her chronic illness and her bills in check. She comes up with delicious recipes, too, using basic ingredients. Expect her to be both honest and entertaining.

Save some bucks -- walk from your hotel to the airport when you're in Vegas! One of my favorite bloggers, Andy from Tight-Fisted Miser, tried this...and found that it was only 1.8 miles. Granted, he was only schlepping a small backpack, and had plenty of time to do it. Taxis charge big bucks to take this short trip -- I think I might try walking next time.

The ten-item wardrobe. (From Moneysaving Mom) What do you think -- could you live like this? While traveling (which we've done a lot of, lately) -- you bet. At home...I'm not so sure.
     Here's the video, for you to make up your own mind.

Dealing with the 'ugly side' of your yard. Although if that's ugly, it's still got plenty of bonus points, compared to my Pile O' Trash. Plenty of photos from the 'pretty side,' too.  (From Thrifty Decor Chick)

Have a great week.

Monday Stuff On the Way to Other Stuff: In A Hurry

   See this darling man?



My uncle, Vernon Cumings, passed away Friday. He had a good long life, but his family -- including the Brick and yours truly -- will miss him. We need to go to the service on Tuesday -- which has meant a whole lot of pushing back some tasks, and cancelling others. In fact, we'll be on the road to Michigan in a few hours. You'll be hearing from me this week -- but from Michigan. Staffers will hold the fort here in Colorado.
I'm glad I've been collecting goodies for you all week, so I can still share Stuff:

Eating -- and spending  -- less. A lot less. (Check the comments.) From Budgets are Sexy.

20 copycat recipes for everything from Krispy Kreme doughnuts to Outback's brown bread. 

Three planters -- cut from soda bottles. Easy how-tos are on Our Peaceful Planet.

A man struggles with 'allergies' for decades -- then sneezes a play dart out his nose!

The most filling 100-calorie snacks out there. 

 Corn-chile tamales -- an easier-to-make recipe. (from Good Cheap Eats)

'Two-can' tuna tacos. (From San Francisco Magazine)

Making decorative use of that wasted space behind your doors. (From Distressed Donna Down Home)

Ten spending habits of the famous and frugal.   Including a football player who still drives the car he bought for $2.

Treasure in a marble-topped chest bought at an estate sale. Don't forget to check for hidden drawers!

Swing beds -- and just plain swings -- made from pallets. The blog's Russian -- but it won't stop you from figuring out these brilliant ideas. (From Styleitchic)

Vietnamese-style banh mi -- meatball sandwiches, in this case. (From My Bare Cupboard)

Have a good week.  

God is good, all the time.
All the time, God is good.

Three Dog Night

It's been a little busy around here. 

Daughter #2's dog Karma has been staying over this week, while her parents have been soaking in hot springs, and getting some work done.

Which means, instead of just two, we currently have THREE large dogs to trip over, feed -- and let out.
(Karma can actually open the screen door to let herself back in, the stinker.)

    I can't go anywhere without at least one pair of eyes checking out what's happening. 

And whenever I fix any food:

Karma goes home tomorrow. I'll miss her...but our screen door will finally stay CLOSED.

I have no idea what you're talking about, Grandma...

Al Rogers: Bows to a Boss

     Al Rogers died this past week. He was the owner of  Rogers Hardware, a Sparta, Michigan business begun back in 1928, and still going strong today.

Al was my boss.

He didn't talk much. A tall, gangly man with dark hair, kind eyes and a slight chuckle when he heard something funny, he wore his red HWI jacket as if it was a doctor's coat. I began working for him at 15, dusting the shelves and helping local farmers find the right parts. An amazing amount of tools, bugspray, screws, bolts and plumbing parts poured out of that store over the years.
     His dad, Mel, helped out now and then. So did Al's brother Roy.
     I grew to love that dusty, cluttered place. I spent four afternoons a week there. Charley Harnish and Doug King, who worked at the local grocery store, would walk downtown with me after school, cracking jokes and laughing all the way. On summers and Saturdays I generally worked all day, washing flies off the windows, and arranging displays of wooden spoons, mixing bowls and pickling crocks.
     When the blizzards came, we stayed open, so people could buy kerosene lamps and snow shovels. (Working in the dark, adding things up on paper or an old manual machine was no joke, either.) When harvest was on, farmers would send their hired men in for parts on account. (The guys couldn't quiiiite meet my eyes as they asked for fittings with male or female ends.) We scooped up pounds of bean seed and corn kernels for rosy-faced farmers' wives, while their kids eyed the gumball machine up front. At Christmastime, we wrapped up mixers, blenders and other equipment for 'romantic' last-minute presents. (Nothing says love like a nice humidifier.)
     The work wasn't hard -- and many times, it was interesting. What it did, though, was day after day, week after week, was to fund the college training I so desperately wanted.

     And that education gave me opportunities I still use today.

I will forever be grateful to Al and his job offer to that snot-nosed 15-year-old. He didn't know it at the time, but his kindness and generosity -- repeated throughout the years, and even during college breaks -- changed my life.

Thank you, Al. Thank you so much.

Monday Stuff On the Way to Other Stuff: Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Springtime

Well, we got nailed, all right -- at least 8 inches of wet, heavy snow, and freezing temps to boot. It made the roads nasty, and gave Keith, Daughter #2's partner, one last chance to make some bucks by plowing parking lots. 
     It also seems to have killed the three tomato plants I was hoarding under a coldframe. Poor babies. (Everything else looks ok.) 
     The baby chickies did great, thanks to a heatlamp. They're being let out of their coop this afternoon to mingle with the other girls. It's time for them to grow up, figuratively and literally. 
     We're supposed to have temps in the 70s by tomorrow. Welcome to Colorado. Meanwhile:

One of the better thought-out small space homes I've seen. Check out the storage possibilities, especially. (From MoneySaving Mom) 

You can live off half your income -- these people did it.  (From Budgets Are Sexy)

Drawers -- out of steps? And using a leftover cabinet for the drawers,-- extra storage space at no extra cost except elbow grease? You've got my vote! (From Houselogic)

The best jokes David Letterman never used... by his former staffers.

Buddy the conehead -- and having Mom diagnosed with Alzheimer's. (From Living Rich on the Cheap)

Stylish furniture -- for your dollhouse. Funky Junk Interiors shows you how.

Flower patterns DIY -- make homemade flower designs look professional in just a few steps. (From the Tender Garden) 

Extra uses for baby powder. (Making your eyelashes look thicker?!?)

Pepperoni rolls. An old(er) recipe, but delicious -- and easy. (From 24 Hour Menu)

Five paintings stolen in WWII are returned...by American heirs, after seeing the movie 'Monuments Men.' Good for them.

Eating like the Rock -- and I'll tell you one thing: he has a real thing for cod. 

An interesting look at NOT wasting food -- penalty labels, a restaurant and store dedicated to aging produce?  Plus a cook who feeds her large family on less than $300 a month.

Planked floors -- done with real 1x6 planks.  This sure makes more sense than buying and installing fake wood. (From Shabby Creek Cottage)

'Cheap' pieces that look at home in expensive decor.  (From Apartment Therapy) Like this living room, which mixes a $70 floor lamp in with rare art and fancy armchairs.

From cheap laminate throwaway to sturdy storage bench. (From My Repurposed Life)

Scents, memory...and how it affects your purchases. (From A gai shan Life)

McDonald's history...and it's not pretty.

My mom, the frugal role model -- from Donna Freedman.



 Have a great week. 

Did You Go To Prom?

(Actually, I didn't.)

26 hysterical prom photos, including this one -- which I'm sure the Brick chickens would approve of:

Especially the moony-eyed girl on the left.

Go here for more.

Work, work, work

30 ways to be silly (or weird) while you work. Like this one: 

Go to this link for more. 
Don't forget your pants.

Lawyers, Note:

Think you know everything about matters legal?

Mental Floss takes a long look at popular misconceptions about the law:

Now that I know about free speech (and drove barefoot much of the way home this weekend) , I feel much better.
     Maybe I'll go draw on a dollar bill to celebrate.

Monday Stuff on the Way to Other Stuff: HOME

Got back early this morning from Michigan, after driving all night through a series of flashy thunderstorms. Lighting crashed on each side, lighting up the road...and if I looked, then I couldn't see the night items. If I stopped, then the driving rain made it almost impossible to see -- if I kept going, most of the time I could outrun what was happening. 
    The Mama also mentioned I'd traveled through an area with tornadoes. I'm not surprised. 

Got home to stopped-up toilets and sinks -- apparently we have a backflow problem with the sewage and gray water output. I'm not surprised at this one, either -- the Brick has had this happen several times while I've been gone on other trips.
     Why? I've no idea.

At any rate, it's lovely to be home -- and staying for a while.

BTW:  This week's Monday Stuff is a little thin -- staying at the Mama's means I can't access the Internet much. (She thinks it's a waste of time, and crabs if I take much time on it.) It will be more substantial next week.

Catching a crook -- and making sure he doesn't do it again. Wish we could do this with every mischarge we've had. (And there have been several.) From Money Beagle.

Kentucky Bourbon Bacon Chex Mix.  Bacon, bourbon, pecans and crunchiness -- what's not to love? 

19 one-liners on parenthood. Like this one: "88% of parenting is saying 'it's bedtime' 150 times between 8:00 and 9:00 every night."

Gourmet herb butters -- for steak and other meat -- you can make. (From It's All Connected)

A beautiful fruit tart -- use it for decor, then eat it for dessert! (From Pennies and Pancakes)

Frugal snacks -- from yours truly via Midlife Finance. From the same site:
    Important facts from the student loan forgiveness program.


Have a great week, while I start to catch up again.