Monday Stuff on the Way to Other Stuff: Earning A Spot on the Doofus Patrol

     The Brick had a chance to go see his brother and sister-in-law for a week in North Carolina, his home state. (He's been having a great time, by the way.) It would be lonesome without him, but being the smart, efficient person I was, I was going to get lots of work done while he was gone.
     Well, maybe. (He's not back yet.) But the smart, efficient part? 

We left at 4 a.m., to get him to the airport for a 6 a.m. flight. Neither of us are early morning people, and it wasn't fun. But we did it. 

I got home around 5:30 a.m., dogs in tow, and fished out my house keys to open the front door.

No keys.

It was then, at that opportune moment, that I looked in the window and realized:
    I'd put them on a lanyard to give to our neighbor for dogsitting a while ago.

They were still there, hanging on the rack. I could see them.

It was pretty cold by this point. Ruby and Charley were puzzled: "C'mon, Mom, open the door!"

I tried banging on the glass with a shovel. No go. (Which is a good thing, really.)

Then the back door. Nope - locked tight.

The Brick was on the plane by now. Even if he overnighted his set of keys, I still couldn't get inside. And I had an appointment at 10:30 a.m. to do some appraising in Denver. 

Daughter #1 had a spare set of keys, I thought -- but she was 30 min. drive away. (Update: Turns out she didn't, after all.) She isn't a morning person, either; I would have had a heck of a time getting her attention. (I should tell you, at this point, that I'd also locked my cellphone inside.)

It was even colder. Every neighborhood dog was wide awake, alerted by my shovel banging. Guess I could go knock on one of our neighbor's doors, and freak them out. 

What I did, finally, was open up our trailer, temp 36 degrees inside, but thankfully unlocked. I crawled into bed, clothes on, and shivered myself to sleep for an hour, the dogs curled up nearby. When it got light outside, I thought of one more option: the basement door. Both the Brick and myself had checked it not long before, and it was locked tight. 

Yep, still locked. I tried banging on the glass -- wouldn't break. In frustration, I shoved hard on the door...

and it opened. Slightly.

For some weird reason, one of us hadn't quite shut it as firmly as we thought.

Thank God.

It took a long time to get warm again -- and I picked up some flu, to celebrate. (I didn't even think about this possibility.) Nonetheless, I am soooo grateful for the gift of a comfortable house. Warm clothing and heavy boots. (I'd worn flipflops and light pants to go to the airport.) Hot coffee and tea.

That makes me a full-fledged member of the Doofus Patrol...and even more aware that some don't have those privileges on a frigid winter morning.
    P.S. The house keys are back where they belong.

Monday Stuff is going up a day early, for you non-Superbowl fanatics:


Free tickets to Black Panther, courtesy of Disney and AMC theatres nationwide:  Hurry, though. The offer's only good through Feb. 7, and tickets are going fast.

Punxsutawney Phil did NOT see his shadow on Groundhog Day this year -- whoopee, an early spring!

Flatiron Freddie in Boulder, CO did see his shadow, though.

Eating breakfast may be the reason you're gaining weight.  Really??? Some studies suggest that's the case.

Make-Ahead Butterhorns. You don't even have to bake these before you stick them in the freezer. (Or bake some for immediate use.) An easy way to have warm bread with your meal on short notice. (From Moneysaving Mom)

Cheesy chili dip. Quick and delicious -- this is what I'm taking to friends' while watching the Superbowl. Serve it with Easy French Bread, if you want to skip the tortilla chips. (Thanks, Thrifty Mom in Boise.)

Half a million in gold coins, found inside an old piano -- by the piano-tuner!

Results from several unusual coin and gold/silver auctions. 

159,000+ texts...all after one date. Including threats and stalking. Whoa. Needless to say, the recipient did NOT want to see this girl again.

A fascinating interview with George Clooney...back in 2000. He sounds like a nice guy. Really.

Petra the parrot talks to Alexa...

She even has her own shopping list. Tell that to Harrison Ford:

Did three men survive their escape from Alcatraz in 1962?  A letter, sent to authorities, suggests they did.

A Scottish tourist takes a five-minute taxi ride in New Zealand. The bill? $930. (He's trying to get it adjusted -- but so far, no luck.)

The 2019 SAG film award winners. 

The biggest snubs and surprises of the 2019 Academy Award nominees. Including A Quiet Place, which won SAG awards for best picture and actress, and deserved both. It wasn't even nominated for an Academy Award, except a stupid category: 'best sound editing.'

Two teenagers decide to be cute and throw rocks -- and a Kentucky trooper pays for it. Fortunately, he'll recover, albeit with a broken nose and totaled cruiser.

Go to an art exhibition and see a painting you like? Just help yourself -- or so a Russian thief assumed. (P.S. He got caught.)
    This couple got away with it. For three decades, at least.

Does this statement by an abortion doctor make you think twice? Note: I didn't make it up -- she really said it.

I'm a big fan of the comic strip Pearls Before Swine. (You've seen it here before.) Here are:
    Intriguing quotes from Stephan Pastis, the comic strip's creator.

Here's a short with Pastis and Scott Adams, Dilbert's creator, going mano a mano:

Pastis' response to a troll is priceless.  His post on Cathy Guisewite is even better. 
    What a guy.

A classic from yours truly, about presents on a budget.

And to finish things off -- a pre-Superbowl look at the M&Ms commercial. Moms everywhere will relate!

Update: The Patriots won the Superbowl. Yay. Woo-hoo. (Limp wrist waving a wrinkled flag.)



Have a great week. Stay warm.