Bits & Quips From Mark Twain

 I posted this back in 2014 -- here it is again, for your amusement and edification.  (!!!)

...bless his little heart.


I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. Now suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.   (Seems particularly fitting, while we're in the grip of the upcoming elections...)

There is probably no distinctly American criminal class, except Congress.

His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere.

He is useless on top of the ground; he aught to be under it, inspiring the cabbages.

Take the lies out of him and he'll shrink to the size of your hat; take the malice out of him, and he'll disappear.

To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and less trouble.

Always do right. That will gratify some of the people, and astonish the rest.

By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.

Providence protects children and idiots. I know because I have tested it.

It's not the parts of the Bible that I don't understand that bother me, it's the parts I do understand.

A banker lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.

It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.

If you don't read the newspaper, you are uninformed; if you do, you are misinformed.

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.

Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.

The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after, he knows too little.

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

(Thanks, The Hypertexts.com...)

Makes Ya Think, Don't It...

 

Or they're just at a stoplight. I've lost count of the people I've seen indulging in this helpful activity. Don't they know you can still see into the vehicle??

More weird life hacks -- that make you think. Bear in mind, that a number of these are not only illegal...but dishonest. Would you sell your reputation for honesty for a free parking ticket? Or a steak?

There are Days I Feel Like This...

 ...no doubt you do, too.

Don't forget making (and serving lunch), supervising bathroom trips, getting everyone (and everything) stuffed back in the car... then putting away stuff and washing sand out of the swimsuits. 

More parenting tweets here...thanks, Bored Panda.

A Classic Revisited: Paying Off Student Loans

 

The Supreme Court is supposed to release its opinion on student loan forgiveness this week. I wrote this post during President Obama's term -- but my reasoning still applies. See what you think. 

* * * * * * * * * *

If you've been in college, you're probably dealing with this issue.

Did you know that taking a job in a lower-income area could help you earn a discount on a federal student loan? Or serving in Volunteers in Service to America? National Guard duty can pay as much as $10,000 toward your student loans.

People in "public service" jobs (teaching, firefighting, etc.) can have their loans forgiven after ten years of regular payments. If you're a regular schmuck, that ceiling is 25 years -- 20 after 2012. 

Liz Weston has a good long look at repayment possibilities -- go here for the full report. Or hop straight to her source: the FinAid website. (A practical, though somewhat old, response is here, too, thanks to Get Rich Slowly.)

A growing number of people are fervently hoping that their student loans will be forgiven by the government,  as a sort of economy stimulus. President Obama's actual plan seems to be less than they're hoping for, but no matter. Some ex-students have actually quit making payments toward their loans, hoping for a bailout. Sort of the Ray Stevens approach.
    I have a real struggle with this. We both took out student loans; granted, not much, because we both worked several jobs over the course of our college years. The Brick also had GI Bill payments, after six years in the Navy. My parents generously paid my student loans, a gift I don't think I've ever adequately repaid. (Thanks so much, Pa and Ma!)

Dave's $10,000 loan, on the other hand, fell squarely on our shoulders. It took us ten years to repay, at a time that we could have used the money to beef up a house downpayment (we lost out on an incredible VA house deal for not being able to bid $2000 more), or given us more freedom to travel. We eventually made the last payment when Daughter #1 was in kindergarten or so.

I blame ourselves for the delay. Not in our payments -- we made 'em, and regularly, too. But we didn't have to borrow that much money, to begin with. I was working full-time; he was part-time. In addition to scholarships and grants, we also got $400 monthly from his GI Bill. (In the early 1980s, that was a lot of money.) The Brick and I ate out -- a lot. We didn't stint ourselves on concerts or movies. We didn't go hog-wild, but if we'd been more frugal, we could have borrowed a few thousand less. And that extra money could have gone directly into our pockets, instead of the government's.

So...if you're one of those hoping that the government is going to pick up your bill, ask yourself:

*Did I borrow only the absolute minimum during my college years?
*Did I keep my expenses down as much as possible?
*Did I take on any jobs to help pay expenses?
*Am I making regular payments now on my debt...or doing more than the minimum? 
*Am I making excuses now for my stupidity then?

It comes down to this:  You borrowed it, you pay it back. Period.

Nay!

 

LIving in A Fifth - Wheel: Year Five

More and more people are living in RVs -- partly because it can be cheaper, but also because it's much easier to move around. And when you've got a yen for travel, or just enjoy wandering, it's a pleasure to be able to sleep in your own bed at night, whether you're in Dubuque or Wichita.

It's hard to believe that we are starting on Year Five for living in our fifth-wheel...but there you go. For most of the year, it's parked on our friends' ranch. We pay our utilities and internet costs, house-sit on occasion, and help out with all the jobs that a ranch requires. They seem to appreciate having us around, particularly for last-minute needs. In turn, we try to be considerate neighbors in an area that's quiet and incredibly beautiful. The ranch is in a valley next to the Rockies that very few people know about -- and as far as we and they are concerned, it can stay that way. It's very peaceful here. 

We had planned to do a lot more traveling, pulling the fifth-wheel, but horrendous gas prices have shoveled that idea into the hopper. Just to haul it back to Colorado, after the Mama's death in the winter of 2022 in Michigan, cost more than $2000. Yikes. So we mostly leave it parked, and find other ways to go. 

Our 32-foot Arctic Fox trailer is well-designed. It allows plenty of room to cook -- as long as you're willing to swap out counter space and keep your pots & pans in the oven. (Which I am - and do.) If we behave ourselves and keep things put away, there's also enough room to pass each other in the 'hallway' that runs from the bedroom, down the steps, through the kitchen. 

     I love the electric fireplace. The tv/dvd player. The comfortable chairs we have for use at night. We have a surprising amount of room in the refrigerator and the "basement" storage space. There's even a 'laundry room' chute that takes dirty clothes down to the basket below. 

We replaced the old roof with a custom one guaranteed never to leak. (Our previous trailer was totalled after an insurance person noticed extensive roof leaks -- inside the walls. Never again.) Even in the extra-wet, cold spring, the fifth-wheel has endured like a champ. Wind, rain, hail -- it made no difference, even when the trailer was shaking in high wind like a wet dog. 

The shower is comfortable; so is the bed. It's a real pleasure on a cold, rainy night to take a hot shower and snuggle into bed, with a circle of lamplight above for reading. 

So what are the negatives?

The trailer is easily cleaned -- and just as easy to get messy.  Repair and other projects can really scatter stuff around. Like any house, the trailer has needed maintenance, including emptying the black and gray water tanks, filling and replacing the propane tanks, and keeping general repairs. (The kitchen sink has been a particular issue, needing leaks fixed and the faucet replaced.) The hot water tank is smaller -- which means dishwashing and long hot showers can't happen at the same time. (But the tank only takes an hour to heat up again.)

The trailer is generally quite comfortable -- but can get chilly duirng the winter months. We've been looking for land we can build a small house on, then park the trailer alongside. That way, it would be extra living space, and a comfortable spot for guests. 

Until then, we'll keep on living in our snug fifth-wheel. 

Monday Stuff On the Way to Other Stuff: Wandering

 We're out and about in Arizona -- on vacation. We started in southern Colorado, and gradually worked our way down via Gallup, NM. Now we're in Show Low. Its history is fascinating:

In 1200, a tribal village was established in the area of present-day Show Low, but was later abandoned for unknown reasons.

Three centuries later, Francisco Vasquez de Coronado left his footprints in the area searching for the Seven Cities of Gold. He was followed another three centuries later by mountain men Ewing Young and Kit Carson, as they led a trapping party down to the Salt River Canyon in 1829.

In 1856, Show Low’s founder, Corydon Cooley, left Virginia at age 20 to come to the New Mexico Territory. After service in the Union Army and as a scout and interpreter for General George Crook, Cooley married into the White Mountain Apache Tribe. Chief Pedro became his father-in-law. The tribal center is located in White River and old Fort Apache approximately 40 miles from present day Show Low.

In 1873, Cooley moved his family to a small cabin on the banks of what is now Show Low Creek and became a ranching partner with Marion Clark. After the legendary card game of 1876, Cooley named his newly-acquired ranch “Show Low” and hired Mormon settlers David Adams and Alfred Cluff as workers on the ranch. Adams and Cluff would soon have their own ranches.

In 1880, Cooley and the Huning brothers became partners in the Show Low Ranch property and opened the first store in Show Low three years later. Cooley and the Hunings dissolved their partnership in 1888 and the ranch was sold to Henry Huning.

Gee, we're in a spot where Coronado thought the Seven Cities of Gold was?? It's nice enough -- but nope, he was mistaken. And the "legendary card game of 1876?"

The popular story is one that traces to Will C. Barnes, who claimed that, while he was stationed at Fort Apache in 1880, C.E. told him this tale: C.E. and Marion Clark, neighbors in the Mogollon Rim area, decided around 1876 that the region wasn’t big enough for the two of them, so they played cards to determine who would leave. The game was “Seven-Up,” in which the low card won. Clark told C.E., “If you can show low, you win.” C.E. threw down his hand, saying, “Show low it is.” Popular lore claims he had the deuce of clubs. 

This also explains why one of the main roads in town is called -- you guessed it -- 'Deuce of Clubs.'

The Mama would have given him a run for his money...

Meanwhile:

'Unique moneysaving ideas' from Non-Consumer Advocate, whose weekly 'Five Frugal Things' is one of my favorite stops on Monday.

Now the wealthy businessperson who funded those Just Stop Oil activists (yes, the ones blocking the roads and disrupting traffic) says their actions "aren't accomplishing anything." Really...

A professor known for studying dishonesty is now accused of providing dishonest data in a number of papers!

A 12-foot werewolf gets to wear holiday decorations in a lady's yard...because huffy neighbors got too pushy about her taking it down. Then other people get into the act, with dinosaurs, skeletons, etc. etc.

Poor Senator Fetterman. He had a big speech prepared for celebrating BLM -- when he was uncomfortably reminded that he'd pulled a gun on a black jogger years ago. An unarmed jogger. Oops.

The wife of the billionaire who died when the Titanic submersible imploded -- is the great-great-granddaughter of a couple, Isidor and Ida Straus, who died on the Titanic. 

Chicken enchilada soup that gives Chili's a run for its money.  And if you liked that -- and it's GOOD -- then try her homemade enchilada sauce, too.

Wait a minute -- Meghan Markle didn't actually DO all the interviews she supposedly held?  (At least one was done by a staffer, with Markle's remarks edited in later.)

Live in a medieval era stone house in Britain -- it's selling for only 4.5 million pounds!

Things you love that were really accidents.  One of the 25: the Hulk is green because Marvel's printers messed up!

Love...and a fish named Elvis.

Then there's the Colorado guy who named a Sasquatch Elvis..."he keeps coming around every summer, he's getting bigger and bigger." 

Want to live on an Irish island? Grants for up to $90,000 are offered.

Ten reasons why it seems clear that Covid-19 leaked from the lab in Wuhan, China. (If indeed it "leaked..." my cynical little mind wonders this.)

How to survive a riptide.

Have a great week. 

            Shrine Pass in Colorado - another golden spot

Thank you...

(This came via Lori DeVries...) 

Man-Thinking

This man said his wife got some dresses in the mail, and wanted to see them. But she was at work.

So he took some selfies to show her.

I don't think the Brick, with his full beard, would look too good in a sundress! (He has cute legs, though.)

And then there's this:

"Not even a day after our dog had a mass removed, I had an emergency appendectomy. My wife is taking care of both of us."

Guys. Ya gotta love 'em.

More husband/boyfriend sililness here.    Thanks for the fun, Bored Panda.

And That Fixes That...

 

Monday Stuff On the Way to Other Stuff: Nothing to Report

     Colorado may finally have emerged from the monsoon season -- we haven't had any rain for two days! ('Listen to yourself, Brick -- pretty soon you'll be griping because there's no rain.')

    Now hopefully my beans and squash will start appearing. Ya never know. Something fragrant is blooming right now -- maybe crab apple blossoms? (That's late, too.)

     A quiet week lies ahead, after Father's Day. Unfortunately we were not able to spend time with any of the kids -- we hope to later.  (One batch is sick, and the other went to the Renaissance Festival.) The Brick did get some presents from his redhaired Ruby doggie, though. 

Meanwhile:

Tiramisu cake. Oh boy.  (From the Kitchen Magpie)

Fifty wonderful dads for Father's Day.  What would we do without them!

The poor lady who woke up in her coffin... just died, a week later. Hopefully people are making sure this time. 

A knife-wielding thief gets caught when the front door locks shut, and the shutters come down. So what does he do? Casually drinks one of the beers he tried to steal. (Hey, why not...)

Two early Superman comics just sold for a combined $3 million at auction! 

A Shuffle Dance for a Cloudy Day:

Another wonderful version of the shuffle dance:

Real historical booby traps. So much for making it easy to find treasure. Plus...

Important artifacts that are STILL missing. Including John F. Kennedy's brain! 

Missing documents, too.

And ten rare things recently FOUND.

A blizzard on top of Pikes Peak -- in mid-June?  Yep...and it was a horror. 

Did his aunt betray Anne Frank and her family? This man thinks so...

Sixty ideas for saving money in the summertime.  (From Little House Living)

An eagle grabs a jackal's baby cub -- and Mom retaliates! 

King Tut and potato chips.  A classic from yours truly. 

"You've got $7 to buy a week's worth of food. What would you get?" Some very interesting answers from Quorans here. 

Joshua's altar on Mt. Ebal? Archeologists believe they've found it.  (Deuteronomy 27 tells you more.)

An assistant basketball coach -- fired after she pretended to be one of her players during a game!

Making an entryway 'tile rug.'

Is Trump's indictment the 'slam dunk' that many media outlets believe it is??   I'm personally skeptical. The Brick believes that Biden could not be indicted for the same thing until he stops being President -- and I had read that Hilary Clinton had worked out some kind of backdoor solution to her classified issues. But who knows...the timing does seem interesting. 

Grandpa acts as 'flower boy' in his granddaughter's wedding. Awww....

A trip to Cusco -- and Macchu Picchu. This is on my list!  (From Millenial Revolution)

Buffalo chicken spaghetti...oooh.

Remember this guy? He just 'happened' to be on a boat with his mom, who drowned. (Because he apparently tampered with it. To get the $7 million inheritance she got from her father. Who is thought to have been shot by Our Hero...to get THAT inheritance, which he promptly squandered.)

    Anyways, on the eve of the trial for his mom's murder... he's found dead. Age 28. Hmmm.

A man goes to pick up his in-laws at the airport...and never arrives. More than four decades later, we finally know why. (This is a weird one, and apparently still ongoing.)

Doilies for a summer top? This version is a bit too sexy for my taste...but does inspire ideas.

The landlord who demanded that his tenants remove their improvements to the backyard. So they did...

'My husband is so frugal that he proposed with a coupon.'  A sweet anniversary memory from The Prudent Homemaker.

'Maybe we went a little too far.'  One of the authors of a paper denying that Covid could have leaked from a lab, instead arguing that it developed "normally," admits that not all claims of leaks can be easily dismissed. Oh really...

Real-life hacks for everyday living. 

Photoshop fails. And...

Insanely cool water (and underwater) photos.

The mother-in-law insisted on wearing white to the wedding...so the bride wore pink, instead. A brilliant solution to the problem.

A woman wakes up... during her own funeral!

Ten facts about Great Britain's WWII bombings. I have a special interest in this, thanks to Helen Forrester's memoirs.

Did a strange study at Harvard permanently warp the student (and eventual professor) who became the Unabomber?  We have a side interest in this -- one of our Boulder friends was a college roommate of Ted Kaczynski. Our friend remembered him as being a tad 'off,' even then.

Potatoes Romanoff... steakhouse goodness, made at home.  (From The Kitchen Magpie)

Enabled types -- in the flesh. 

Have a great week. 

Happy Father's Day!

 

The Brick with his girlies..

...and his dad. 

Yours truly with her dad...

And Grandpa with his girlies.

                       Love you very much. Happy Father's Day!

Things I Don't Understand: The Father's Day Version

 Here's celebrating Dear old Dad -- with a few Engineer bits thrown in. Because even though he's technically retired, the Brick is still very much An Engineer at heart. 

It takes real courage to be a good Father, especially in this zany world.

(More Things I Don't Understand posts here, in case you're interested.)

              The latter: the Handyman's secret weapon. Ask Red Green:

...and pissed about it, too.

P

Perhaps burping could be substituted.

Saw this myself at Miami International Airport. 

He held his girlie this way at least an hour -- or more. 

Maybe he was an engineer.  (Uh, nope.)

A Korean-themed birthday party for Daughter

And finally:

He does, too.

Happy Father's Day, Sweetheart.