"Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."
“There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress."
"Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can."
"Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it."
"An honest man in politics shines more there than he would elsewhere."
"All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity."
"Conservatism is the blind and fear-filled worship of dead radicals."
He must be joking... right?
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